Delusion
by Zelia Theb
Summary: Only memories, no closure. Love goes unspoken, lost within the pages of Chapter Black. Forever is an illusion. OneShot KuramaYusuke BoyLove


****

Warnings: Shounen-Ai, Yaoi hints, series progressive but slightly AU (Read: slight fact-twisting).

****

Disclaimer: _Yu Yu Hakusho_ © Yoshihiro Togashi.

* * *

****

Delusion

By Zelia Theb

* * *

She holds him tight, not caring for his wounds on her clothing, or his thick bristled hair between her fingers. If only we hadn't been trapped. If only I had found a way to escape the alternate dimension sooner. If only…

They are so happy together. Not even Genkai recognized him when we emerged. But _she_ did. Keiko knew right away. I could never compete with her. How had this happened?

Yes…with a kiss.

It was just after the grueling battle with the Toguro brothers. Botan was ready to take Yukina back, and both Hiei and Kuwabara had volunteered to go with, leaving Yusuke and I by ourselves. At first, he and his classmate were surprised that Hiei and I were there, but Yusuke understood the reasons and didn't bother asking. Poor Hiei…he had to suffer with so much. It wasn't because he disliked Kuwabara, I think it was because his big-brother instincts were shining through.

We parted ways at a bus-stop Yusuke had said he was let off at, and we waited alone for it to arrive. It was a short trip; taking us only to the nearest train station; but was memorable.

Yukina and Botan had done well to heal his wounds, but his clothing was tattered and blood-stained. The bus driver had gazed upon me with curiosity; I had ended up blurting out that I had found Yusuke after a terrible bicycle accident and was going to help him home. Then we placed ourselves in the back, so as to not annoy the bus driver or the two other passengers upon the hollow vehicle.

"You know, Yusuke," I said to him, "Your wounds may be shallow now, but there could still be some internal bleeding and possibilities for infection."

"Meh," he shrugged painlessly, "Grandma makes me go through worse. I'm more worried about how my mom is gonna react when she sees me; _if_ she's even home."

"Your mother?" I queried with interest. I was reminded of what he said as he shared the life expense with me…in an attempt to save my _own_ mother.

"Yeah," he yawned, rubbing a mite of dirt from the corner of his left eye, "She's either gonna break down and cry about me dying, get pissed and yell at me to go to school, or both."

The bridge of my nose wrinkled with deduction. Placing his words and incredible aura together, I asked, "Yusuke, have you died before?"

He nodded; "Uh huh." At that moment I was incredibly saddened yet relieved. It was by some stroke of luck that I was able to meet Yusuke; and his life was fragile. It could break at any moment…so if I wanted to further my luck, I would need to take care of him.

We arrived at the station a little after midnight. The next and last train to our city wasn't leaving for another thirty minutes; so we sauntered to the washroom to clean him up a little. Our conversation was mostly set on wounds and future cases, and we even joked a bit about Hiei and Kuwabara.

I had chosen an empty car on the train in order to avoid any stares. The rest of the cars were unusually empty to begin with, so it did not matter much anyhow. After a yawn, Yusuke let his head rest upon my shoulder; a gesture I was most fascinated and delighted with.

"That Kuwabara…" he mumbled, "He's so girl crazy."

I chuckled as I wrapped my arm around his shoulders, giving his head more allowance to be comfortable. It was nice to just be a teenager instead of the good son, or the Youko of the past. Like a proverbial weight being lifted off of my being. I remarked, "Yes, he is overly enthusiastic about Yukina. I take it that he doesn't know she is Hiei's sister."

"Nope," he answered softly, "And I'm not sure if I wanna tell him and save him the heart-ache, or sit back and laugh because it's very funny."

"And it annoys Hiei too," I joked.

Yusuke laughed with me, but then settled and said, "Seriously though. He was like this with Botan at first, but I really think it's like, love at first sight."

My laughter settled as a balance to my stomach, and without thinking I mentioned, "I know what that is like."

I felt Yusuke perk up; tilting his head with interest at the thought of a demon being in love, and he asked, "What, some girl at your school?"

Partially true, though I had since forgotten the small feelings. Knowing full well that I was under a microscope, I admitted, "No… There was a girl I was friends with, but she got too close…"

"Just like Keiko because of stupid Botan," he muttered. He let his head rest again, and continued, "Is it Botan?"

"Hah!" I let out all too quickly. Had the ferrywoman been there I might have expected a slap in the face.

"Yeah, she's hot, but I don't see it happening either."

"No, Yusuke," I corrected him with a giggle, "I just don't find her attractive at all."

"_Ooo_," he teased back, making a lip smacking noise, "Is it _Heeeyay_?"

"_What!_" I interjected just a tad too loud, my voice echoing off of the metal walls of the train, "For goodness' sake! He and I are merely friends! Just demon comrades brought together by similar interests…"

"Uh huh," he remarked mockingly, "I believe you. That's why you're always together, and was able to forgive him when he said he would kill you for your betrayal… _Riiiiight_."

"I'm quite serious, Yusuke," I stated flatly.

"Well, I wouldn't care if you said so. It's not like I'm against guys being together." He yawned again; his brain commanding his lungs to take in more air to stay awake, but the attempt failed. I found myself repressing the urge to yawn; they say that it's contagious to mimic the action.

The intense closeness of our bodies was overwhelming. I wanted to embrace him; I wanted to tell him how I felt the moment I laid eyes upon him. I wanted to…hold his hand. There was no thought of consequence in my mind at that time. I couldn't predict being successful with my attempts, nor could I predict the events surrounding the Chapter Black tape. So, without thought, I set my palm upon his knuckles, and held it there affectionately. I soon fell asleep myself, being dazzled by the soothing lullaby of his steady slumber-like breathing.

We awakened when the train halted at the stop rather close to my own home. Sluggishly I helped him up, and we exited the station without words. I recall checking the clock on our way out of the building; it was nearly three in the morning. Thankfully we would not have to walk much further to my home, because very little public transportation ran so early in the morning.

My house was dark and silent. I escorted Yusuke to my bedroom, and left a note for my mother in the kitchen that a friend would be staying the night. I returned to my room to find Yusuke smiling smugly on my bed.

"I have a spare set of pajamas if you'd like to change."

"Pajamas?" he laughed quietly, "I guess I could expect that you'd wear pajamas."

"Actually," I corrected his assumptions again, "What I am offering you is merely a plain cotton tee and soft flannel bottoms."

"Ah, that sounds cool." I beamed at him and retrieved two sets of each from my wardrobe. He undressed first, but I stopped him to check his wounds. After all; that is why I had brought him home in the first place.

His torso was racked with light pink scars, but there were still some wading wounds left from what the girls could not heal. They were scabbed; flaking dark red with speckles of black. Within minutes, I had retrieved some first-aid items from the house, and some pre-made topical treatments I had hidden within my desk.

"Ah, that stings!" he squirmed as I worked on the deepest of them, using an alcohol pad first, and my herbal concoctions second.

"It shouldn't sting so much…" I answered, placing a healing-hastener deep into the wound, "…Now."

He winced, but then slowly unscrunched his face and concurred, "You're right. So this is how you got over all those stab wounds so quickly."

"Indeed," I smirked, handing him the clothing so that he would no longer be exposed in his underwear. We changed quickly, back to back, and he stood triumphantly by my bed, flashing me the most devilish of expressions.

"Kurama," he mused, stepping closer, "Is it Kuwabara? Baby breath?" I knew at that point that he was teasing me; exploiting my teenaged side at the expense of the demon stereotype. It was working.

I moved startlingly close to him then, taking his hand as I did on the bullet train, and whispered, "He is neither."

"In the daylight of the street, then…" he uttered, face closing in on my own.

"Yes," I tenderly replied, returning with, "You too?"

"Mm hm," was all that I heard before we connected. And thus the beginning of my downward spiral…

During his training with Genkai before the Dark Tournament, I had visited him by chance when Genkai needed to take leave for a few hours. We became intimate once more; exchanging deeper kisses and delicate touches. I left when I had felt her presence return; I did not desire to meet the famous psychic just yet.

The Dark Tournament was heart-rending. Keiko's appearance greatly disheartened me, although there was a clear display of our companionship during some of the matches. When Toguro was taunting him for following Genkai into old age, my love openly declared his desire to be with Keiko. Ironically enough, with the latest turn of events…he would not grow old with her as anticipated, and live through the heartbreak of her eventual death.

There was a short period after the conclusion of the tournament that raised my spirits. I found him at my home after school, sipping at tea with my mother. She left moments later to run errands, leaving the detective and I alone. I was aloof, detached from him since I had thought he no longer had any interest in me, but he proved me wrong.

For the next several days, the intensity of our intimacy heightened. So many times I had wanted to speak; I yearned to confess 'I love you'; but I couldn't. The night before his capture…was memorable. It started, as it always did, with just a kiss, but this time…the kisses trailed elsewhere. We became familiar with each other's bodies; having felt nearly every inch with both our lips and fingertips. The urge to shout my normally discreet emotions was at its zenith when he finally loomed over me; our bodies and waists touching but not entirely connected beneath my sheets.

"Kurama," he whispered to me, his skin a powder blue peach from the moonlight. It was a request for permission, one which I could not deny. I answered by pulling him forcefully by his chin and sucking on his tongue. No sooner did I feel the tickle of his presence did irony come calling. My mother was knocking on the door, inviting Yusuke to join us for dinner; which was prepared and ready to be eaten. Never did we get a chance to make-love…

I watch as he holds her still. We shall never have that opportunity again.

-The End-

* * *

Unspoken love and what if's are sad.


End file.
